Nick,

Your menu claims that the ‘Fish and Chips’ are ‘probably the best in town’. Well, yes, of course you would, I appreciate that point. However, I had seen another eatery with the same claim and I felt duty bound to uncover the truth on behalf of the rumbling stomachs and tingling tastebuds of Bangkok. Whose claim was justified and whose was merely spurious bluster ?

Not only that, but where was the other eatery?

So the search began. But where to start? I had recently moved apartment from Pinlklao to Lad Prao and I was by no means certain that the ‘competition’ was in your locality. It may have been over in Kao San road where I regularly used to eat if working in that area. Nethertheless I started by looking around a few places in Soi 4 which were pleasant enough and indeed there was a ‘Fish and Chip’ item on the menu and quite palettable it was, too.

You will understand, I hope, that research of this nature could not feasibly be carried out all on one evening, what with the walking, drinking and eating time to consider. Each time I found a likely location I first had to buy a beer and peruse the menu before ordering, if the dish were indeed on the menu. There were a few others that I tried but to no real avail.

Then Soi Cowboy gave me a flash of inspiration among other things. Maybe it was down that way. I had heard that that there was food for the belly as well as eye-candy a-plenty but it was a long time since I personally had gone down there to eat ! Look, I usually go to the bars where there is a live band, OK? I like listening to music with my beer. And there’s no need to look at me like that !

Anyway, I started at Country Road, which is one bar where they have a live band and had a beer while I planned out my course of action. I listened for a while but then my sense of shame pricked me onwards. No, hang on ! They’re playing some decent stuff tonight. Another beer, please !

Right, on with the job, I thought, a little later. So, my task, which I had accepted, was to find some fabulous fish and chips and I stepped back out into the Soi. Well, I’m no fool ! Why should I do all that leg-work when there are these delectable ladies to help me with my enquiries ? However, a word of warning to you, dear reader; not all these young ladies can be trusted to tell the truth. “You sell food in this bar?” I would ask. The answer would come back, “We have what you like to eat. We happy to serve you.” In I went and had a beeer and asked for the menyu. Well, I had to wait for a while and then after ‘one more beer, na ka?’ I realised there was no food in that bar. The next one proved just as fluteless but I was feeling ver relax by now and so I thought I’d suspender my search for a while and just have a bare and get abreast of the scenery.

For some reason the rest of the evening was foodless but fun. I woke up the next morning – just about - and realised that I had failed in my quest, so set about it anew that evening. Well, to cut a long story short and get to the important bit, I can tell you that I eventually found the restaurant which challenges you and I can state unequivocally ( which proves I’m not drunk )…

No Contest!!
Your reputation is safe.

However, there is the little matter of the cost of my meals and my bar bill which, I am sure you will agree, was incurred on your behalf, including bar-fines ( although I’m still not sure what I did wrong ).

Oh, yes, and the new pair of trousers; all my others seem to have shrunk.